For first time mamas!!!

I’m back!!! So I took a little break but I’m back and to start off being back, I wanted to start off with my 5 tips/ things I’d tell first time or new moms! Now I’m not talking about ” get as much sleep as you can” that’s terrible advice! 😂 so lets dive in…..

1. Enjoy the simplicity to life! Enjoy being able to go out to eat with out having to plan, enjoy being able to take a bubble bath with out interruptions, this one is the most important ENJOY YOUR SPOUSE! Once that baby gets here it will be hard to have your time With eachother. Just enjoy the simple parts of life that you never even pay attention too! 

2. Take in the silence! Suck in every second of the silence around your home. Cooking dinner without a screaming kid on your leg, watching a full adult movie or show without missing any or have to pause every 2 seconds. Enjoy the laying with your spouse hearing nothing but you two and maybe music or a tv. Silence becomes nonexistent once a kid is there. 

3. Relax!!! This one is easier said than done, I’ve been there. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I had tried for over a year for her after 2 terrible miscarriages so once I was pregnant with her I stressed everything, went to the hospital almost every week to check on her, and instead on relaxing I stressed so much that it made being pregnant way worse than it needed to be. I mean it was pretty miserable being sick the whole time but I never got to enjoy it cause I was too stressed that something was wrong. So relax, go on a baby moon, get a prenatal massage, eat those cravings, don’t freak over every little thing! 

4. This one is for when baby is born! Babies are tougher than you think! Every mother has left her kid on a bed or couch and they have rolled off or a toddler bounces and falls off. It happens to the best of us, it don’t make you a bad parent! They will fall and get bumps and bruises especially once mobile! The first time they fall off a bed or couch you will cry more than they will! My oldest was 3months old when she first flipped off a bed, she was completely fine! My second was 6months when he flipped off a bed, my youngest was 10 months when he head butted the floor from learning to crawl! It happens! As long as you aren’t beating them and you feed and bathe them you are doing your job! 

5. This is I feel something all moms need to do! TAKE THE HELP OFFERED! First time moms tend to be very greedy with their babies, I was very greedy. I thought I could do everything myself didn’t need no help! WRONG!!!! You can’t do it all and you need to take help when offered. If it’s someone cooking you dinner, cleaning for you, watching the baby so you can nap, or watching the baby so you can shower! Let them help! There is going to come a time where there isn’t going to be help offered like there is when a baby is brand new, so TAKE IT! 

I hope these 5 tips help any first time or new mamas! But more than anything just enjoy your baby! They do grow faster than you think! 

Living with a princess 

My last writing was about living with boys so now I want to discuss living with a girl! I have one yes one daughter! Thank god only one girl! Now a little story, my daughter is my first born, she was a rainbow baby after 2 losses and it took over a year to conceive her. When she was born she became our princess. She got anything and everything she could ever want. Hell still she gets everything she wants. My daughter is one of the sweetest well mannered kids you will ever meet. So you ask, it should be a cake walk living with her right? Wrongo! Most the time she is good and we don’t have to discipline very often with her. So without much more here’s four ways it’s like living with girls! 

1. The sass!! Yes most girls are are sassy, hell even grown women are sassy, but have you ever tried to tell a sassy toddler what to do? If you haven’t you will get this look 🙄 9 times out of 10. Also the older they get the worse sass you will get from them. Your 3yr old comes out with her heels and sunglasses on holding her purse, and talking on her pretend cell phone and when you ask her, “hey who you talking too?” And she stops turns around and tells her pretend person, “I’ll call you back, my mom is here” then tells you she isn’t talking to anyone and walks off. That right there people is a sass of a child! 

2. Indecisive! Okay, okay this goes for women in general. Especially when he comes to hair, clothes, shoes, where to eat! You can’t decide but have a daughter who has already worn 3 outfits and still don’t want to wear what she has on and wants to change yet again, or a daughter who can’t pick between a shopkins or my little pony toy. It happens, us women want the best of everything and the best of both worlds. Which in real life just isn’t possible. So we will say I don’t know or I don’t care to push the choice to someone else. Hell I think little girls are the same they want someone to make the choice for them. But hey what are you going to do? 

3. The emotions! Okay men you deal with your wife’s emotions now your going to deal with a miniature version who has 10 times the amount of emotions that your wife has in a day, your daughter will have them done in 5mins. With my daughter she shows every emotion all day long, if she’s happy you will see it, if she is mad you will know and if she is upset she will run and hide. Which is great because you know how they feel there is no question. Now the downside is With her being a toddler she goes through every emotion you could think of in about 3 minutes. She just feels strongly, which leads me back to most women and young girls. When we feel something we fully feel it and we do what we need to let them out! So just cause your wife or daughter has been bitchy all day or crying all day it could just be a funk that will be gone tomorrow. We are not that complicated! 

4. Them toys! This section is pointed towards children. Girl toys are sometimes creepy. Like the doll who was made just to shit itself, they can be dangerous, them damn Barbie accessories can really hurt you! They can be pointless. I still have no clue the reasoning behind shopkins or twinsies. I’ve noticed mainly with girl toys most come with tiny pieces! So when you step on that Barbie brush or heel it will feel like you were shot in the foot. They also keep making the same doll yet they have one for each normal human function. Now tell me why a child needs a doll that they need to change the diaper. Also explain why girl toys are more expensive??? They toys need to go back to being simple! No tiny parts, no crazy sounds just normal old school toys. 

I make these not to say having kids is terrible, because it’s not, having kids is amazing and makes the world keep turning. What I’m getting at is there are parts of being a parent people don’t get to know until they experience it and I just like to give my personal experience! So have a great night y’all!!! 🙋

Life with boys

Hey y’all! This is for y’all that live with a boy could be your boyfriend or husband as well or if you have a son. I have 2 boys ages 2 and 11months. I also grew up with a brother and a ton of boy cousins! With that being said I have been around boys a lot! So between my brother, cousins, nephews, husband and sons I’ve noticed a lot about living with boys. I’m going to tell you 4 things about life with boys. So let’s dive in! 

1. They are loud! No matter what they do talk, listen to music, watch tv, they are going to be loud or have the music or tv as loud as the possibly can get it. Now I’m not saying girls aren’t loud because a lot of time they are, but that’s another story another time. Boys as young ages baby to like 10yr olds think it’s a great idea to screech for the hell of it. They sound like they are dying and it gives you an automatic headache! Now when they are watching tv they will sit as close to the tv and directly in the middle where no one else can see, and what can you guess the tv will be loud as shit! Sitting that close you know they can hear it! When you have a music junkie like my husband he always is listening to music and it is as loud as he can get it. Hell I don’t want to listen to it! You wonder why are they so loud? 

2. They will eat you out of home! I have a 2yr old and he can eat and eat and eat. Of course junk especially chocolate is his drug of choice but he will eat like he hasn’t ate in a year. I dread to see how both my boys eat when they are teenagers! They are going to have to get jobs just to pay for their own food! It don’t get any less as they get older, I’ve watched my husband eat a bowl of noodles, can of peanuts an egg sandwich with 2 eggs drink a mt dew at one sitting. Which he still wanted more. There is no cooking for 5 for this mama! 

3. Boys are gross! Yes they are disgusting humans. They walk around scratching their package and butt. Farting constantly. Taking a shit 3-6times day, always sweating and getting dirty and this also goes for babies! All boys have a funk smell to them. If you say well my kid don’t, they do but your just use to it. Same with your husband or boyfriend! No matter how good their hygiene is! 

4. Nudist!! All boys even most girls love being naked! You give them a bath and while getting one kids dressed your other is building with his blocks naked, stands up scratches his butt and starts dancing with his winky in the wind! Thanks to my husband my kids think they need to strip down to underwear when they get home! At least I make our daughter keep her shirt on. They enjoy the winky getting a nice breeze! 

Living with a boy is not for the weak. They can be so fun to raise and be around but they also are messy, smelly, hungry naked tiny people! So if you have a baby boy get set for the fun that is coming!!! 

SAHM vs working mama

So today I want to talk about a touchy subject and that is being a stay at home Mom or a working mom. I have been both. There are positives and negatives to both jobs! Yes best a SAHM is a job that you don’t get paid for. I want to talk about the positive side of being a stay at home mom, the best thing is being able to watch your children grow and learn everyday. You get to see every milestone they grow through. Second best thing is you never have to worry about having a babysitter or daycare. With being home everyday you don’t have to worry about finding someone to watch your kids for 5-12hours a day so you can go to work. You are there. You don’t have to worry about a high ass daycare bill cause you are home! Unless you want them in daycare to socialize and so you can do errands without having to put them in and out of the car fifty times. The third postivie factor is no schedule! You can lay around all day with your babies, you can get up and go visit friends and family, you can go run errands, whatever you want or need to do! Now let’s talk about working mamas, first positive side to working is you have a second income, which means most no running short on money, being able to go shopping a little more. (There is a negative side to money too). The second positive side is your kids get a lot of social interaction and learn different things than what you can teach them. When they start real school they will already have friends, also they know how to make friends already by being in a social environment. Now the third thing benefits most people, a SCHEDULE. Your on a set schedule, you know how everything is going to be ready to go and where the kids are going to be at what time. Which can be great! Even if you work a job that has jumbled schedules you will still get into a routine. 

Okay here is going to be the fun stuff the negative sides to being a SAHM or working mom. 

When being a SAHM you will get positive and negative feedback and sometimes it will go hand and hand with eachother from the same person. You will hear  comments like, “you’re so lucky to get to stay home and be with your kids all the time”, ” must be nice not having to work”, “how do you make it on one income”, “your husband must make amazing money, letting you stay home”. Now to a normal human, those comments are rude and disrespectful. One know one is LETTING you, you are a grown woman, you can make choices. Also not having an actual paying job, don’t mean being a SAHM isn’t a job, because newsflash, IT IS!  We stay moving, cleaning, cooking, wiping asses and noses and laundry constantly! We go to bed HOURS after everyone else just so we can have a little time to ourselves. Now this don’t just go for SAHM, working moms get negative and rude comments to like, ” must be nice having a baby sitter on hand”, “I don’t know how you can leave your kids” , “I wouldn’t be able to let someone raise my kids”. Just because you have a baby sitter while you work don’t mean you have a baby sitter anytime you want. Moms don’t leave their kids cause they want, they leave so the can support their family. They aren’t letting other people raise their kids because their kids are only with other people while they work! Now the next part of the negativity is what I said earlier the money!!! As a SAHM you are sacrificing a second income to stay home, so that means tight budgeting, you don’t have the money to stray away from your budget, if your bills aren’t paid and groceries aren’t bought you don’t go shopping! Even once the important stuff is paid you may not have much left over which is where you do what you can to not touch it! So you think when you are short on money, “if I was working, we wouldn’t Be short on money” , newsflash you’re wrong! Cause as a working mom you have that second income so that means more bills, baby sitter/daycare bill, most likely you have at least 2-3 extra bills that are luxeries. So some families save with someone staying home. Some can’t afford it. Next one the negative list is date nights!!! When being a SAHM getting a baby sitter to get a break, or go out with Your spouse is almost impossible! You never get a break cause your kids are always with you so when you need a break it’s hard to find someone. Now when being a working mom your kids are with baby sitters or daycare throughout the week so when it comes to date night everyone is tired of watching them and don’t want too. So again a lose lose situation. So as SAHM’s lose their shit cause they just need a small Break and working moms lose their shit cause they need a break from working so much, Remember that we all are fighting the same side with doing what is best for our family! I’ve done both and they both have their good and their bad and they are hard in different ways. So next time you hear or say that one is harder than the other just look back at this and get your shit straight. Being a mom is hard and regardless of if you work or you’re a SAHM you work your ass off both ways!!🙋

The vampire’s wife

If you have no idea what a vampire’s wife is, it’s a wife to someone who works night shift. I want people to see the inside of a night shifters spouse! I’m going to talk about 5 things to being a vampires wife! So let’s hop right in…

1. Night time is the worse yet best time of the day! Now what I mean by the worst yet best time of the day is, it’s the best time because the kids are in bed it’s your time to relax and not having kids climbing all on top of you. You don’t have to worry about cleaning, or focusing on anyone but yourself. Now it’s the worst time of the day because you’re alone! Completely alone, no one to talk about your day with, no one to talk about what you have planned for The next day. Sometimes it’s nice to have your time to yourself but sometimes you just want to lay in bed and cuddle and have the feeling someone is beside you. Having a night shifter is one of the loneliest things to deal with. When your spouse works during the day, your busy all day long and at the end of the day your husband or wife is going to come home, eat dinner, shower and hop into bed with you. You get to relax with them every night! 

2. You’re going to feel like you do everything by yourself! Another point on the being alone part. Your vampire works all night, so they sleep all day. When your up running errands, paying bills, out and about they are at home sleeping either to get some sleep or sleeping for the next shift. So anything you need to do you do by yourself. You are the captain of your ship and you try to get everything done early in the day because you still have to wake them up so they can be up eat and get ready for work and still have about an hour to spend with the family. This also goes for if you have kids, you have the kids all day by yourself then while they work you get them ready and put them to bed by yourself. I’ve had my vampire work days and I looked forward to him coming home, helping me get the kids ready for bed putting the kids to bed and spending an hour or so with eachother. When they work nights you only can look forward to spending time with them when they are off. 

3. Sleep don’t stop during the day of their days off! You think, ” oh yay, he is off tomorrow and the next day, I can sleep in and have a break” that is the biggest load of shit, because they aren’t able to sleep during the night so, they end up staying up all night and sleeping most the day away. With that being said, they will have no energy during the day when they are awake. Most the time they aren’t going to want to do anything but lay around and watch tv. Or play a game. So you aren’t going to get to spend a ton of time resting with them unless you let the kids demolish the house and eat out the whole day. If you’re anything like me you can’t let that happen, you will try to make it a normal day. You clean,cook and take care of the kids like if they weren’t there. That means no breaks for mama! 

4. Text and phone calls become a part of your relationship. Most husbands and wives call and text each other, nothing out of the ordinary but when you are married to a vampire it becomes part of your communication. If you don’t text eachother you will probably not talk for a few days. Even if you try to talk the little time between them waking up to going to work, it’s part of it you will not get much time to talk, y’all are busy and by the time y’all both can sit and talk it’s time for work! Of course communication is key to a healthy relationship, so you do what you have to do! 

5. Disconnection! Usually you save the best for last but in this case, I’ve saved the worst for last and that is the disconnection you feel, and it’s not the disconnection from your spouse, it’s disconnection from EVERYONE and EVERYTHING! Humans are creatures of habit and when you’re use to working everything around a vampires schedule you end up missing events, parties, and anything that is going on with the world. It’s not that you want to miss out it’s that you have to most the time because of this type of schedule you never want to plan to do something on the same night your spouse has to work especially if you are a one car family and even if you have two cars you just don’t want to explain where your other half is a thousand times! So you basically become a hermit and disconnect yourself from others. Plus if you’re a SAHM you probably don’t have many friends as it is, so you somehow just become a loner. The loniliness just becomes your life and that has a lot to do with being a SAHM as well. But that’s another story for another day. 

Those are my 5 truths of being married to a vampire! My husband has worked more night shifts than day shifts since he started working and in all that time it’s never gotten easier and to be honest it sucks! You just do what you have to, to keep sane and keeping your marriage alive when they are home! I also want to put this out there, I am in NO way talking down to any person including my husband for working nights, you do what you need to support your family but this is the inside look of what it’s like being with someone who works nights! So hope y’all enjoyed! 🙋

No matter the way

Today I want to discuss a topic that I’ve seen floating around on social media the past couple day. The c-section vs. vaginal birth debate! So I’ve seen this post going around that basically says, “if you had a csection, you took the easy way out, and your not really a mother.” This is the most ignorant thing I’ve ever heard! No matter if you pushed that baby out of your vajay or you were sliced and diced you gave birth. Now the whole csections are the “easy” way out, that’s the biggest load of shit I’ve ever heard. Is the jaws of life the easiest way to get out of a car? Hmmm HELL NO! Giving birth isn’t easy no matter what way you do it. So my experience is this I have 3 kids. My first was an emergency csection, I had 17 staples but you know what my recovery was not too bad, I was lucky. Not all women are lucky to have an easy recovery, i was sore but not horrible pain. My second I was up walking as soon as they allowed me to. I was very sore and but still very fortunate that my recovery wasn’t too bad. Now let’s discuss my tiny third baby. Maverick was my third and last csection. He was a tiny 7 pounder that got stuck in my ribs! I almost passed out from them trying to “pop” him out. Once my csection was done and I was closed up I went to start recovering. My first shower after my surgery I took the dressing off my inscision and had blood going everywhere, come to find out my doctor left standing blood on my incision so I wouldn’t scar badly. Over the next day I burned like the fire Pits of hell and the blood just dried up and started to irritate my open wound! They sent me home with that, I became clammy, almost passing out, on so much pain I stayed up on my meds. The pain lasted a good month and a half before I could stand up without a burning pain where my incision is. Now I am almost a year post partum and yet I still don’t have enough strength in my stomach to sit straight up from laying down without a pinching feeling, and my stomach hurting a little. So if your ignorant enough to state that csection moms took the easiest way, let’s cut you open and glue you back shut, then come talk. I would never say anything bad about anyone who delivered vaginally, they went through pushing a kid out their vajay. All respect there but csection moms deserve the same respect. 

Stay little

All parents want their babies to stay little. I love watching mine grow, be little, be a kid. If it’s just them holding hands and spinning and laughing. Playing in the rain, reading them a book, or cuddling for bedtime. Make the memories, enjoy the time. Your babies growing is not controllable but you can make sure every moment counts. Children aren’t going to remember every single thing of their childhood, but they will remember you playing with them, reading to them, comforting them. We all tell our kids stay little or never grow up, but to be honest that is one of the biggest joys, enjoying time with your kids, helping them grow into a mature wonderful adult. To help them grow and learn from mistakes. Even though every parent hates hearing, ” enjoy it now, they grow so fast”, but in all honesty it’s true. Just from birth to a year old it’s like they are a completely different person. So don’t worry about how many gifts you get your kids, or how much your vacations cost, or constantly “picking up” a toy cause the deserve it. Be there, play, read, chase them. It’s about you being there not about what you get them! It’s the little things in life that truly matter.